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December 19, 2009
As the holidays approach, many families will be reuniting.
A joyous time for some, yet...for a select few family members
in the community of Yankton, whether they are dealing with
them or not, unresolved issues leading all the way back to
Tammy's murder still remain.
My question is this...
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
If you were a parent and suspected that your child was
involved in a homicide, what would you do?
Some might suggest that this isn’t a fair pair of alternatives—a
false dichotomy of silence and lies—but I have to differ.
I’ve tried to imagine myself as a parent faced with the fact that
my child were wrapped up in a murder.
I’ve tried to imagine what I might do under the circumstances.
What if my child was at a party where somebody was last seen
by legitimate witnesses before being murdered?
How might I react?
I would hope my first reaction would be shock. I wouldn’t
want to believe my child was involved in any sort of illegal
activity, but I have no proof one way or the other—other than
the word of my child...but maybe I'm a bit of a realist.
My child was at a party where illegal activities were taking
place—underage drinking, drug use, who knows what else.
Maybe I gave them permission to be at this party, maybe not.
A young lady who was at this party is found dead in a ravine
not far from this party location.
Her body is discovered half-naked.
The medical examiner is ruling her death homicide.
Despite all of the rumors and lies...
The medical examiner is ruling her death homicide.
Once again...
The medical examiner is ruling her death homicide.
In other words, somebody killed her.
I have several options on the table. Would I:
a. Keep silent and hope things work out for my child?
b. Lie about my child’s whereabouts that night?
c. Do both a and b?
d. Try to get at the truth?
If I do the first three, do I really have my child’s best interests
in mind? What if my child had seen something horrible,
something potentially psychologically and spiritually
damaging?
What if my child had been threatened into keeping his or her
silence? What if my child were in danger?
Would I, could I just keep silent...and maybe even encourage
my child to keep silent too?
Unfortunately, silent nights aren't always holy nights.
One person was murdered already.
Whose interests do I really have in mind when I enable their
lies with my own?
Whose interests do I have in mind when I tell friends and
family members that I’m just glad my child was home by 11:00
p.m., when I know this isn’t anywhere near the truth?
Whose interests do I really have in mind when I keep silent?
I know I couldn’t just “let it go.”
That much is certain.
What about you?
I hope as these families get together over the holidays,
somebody at least ponders this group lie over 17 years old...
and somebody has the conscience to do the right thing.
Peace on earth is a wonderful thing, but it can't be a peace
predicated on lies...
That sort of peace never lasts.
m.c. merrill
As the holidays approach, many families will be reuniting.
A joyous time for some, yet...for a select few family members
in the community of Yankton, whether they are dealing with
them or not, unresolved issues leading all the way back to
Tammy's murder still remain.
My question is this...
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
If you were a parent and suspected that your child was
involved in a homicide, what would you do?
Some might suggest that this isn’t a fair pair of alternatives—a
false dichotomy of silence and lies—but I have to differ.
I’ve tried to imagine myself as a parent faced with the fact that
my child were wrapped up in a murder.
I’ve tried to imagine what I might do under the circumstances.
What if my child was at a party where somebody was last seen
by legitimate witnesses before being murdered?
How might I react?
I would hope my first reaction would be shock. I wouldn’t
want to believe my child was involved in any sort of illegal
activity, but I have no proof one way or the other—other than
the word of my child...but maybe I'm a bit of a realist.
My child was at a party where illegal activities were taking
place—underage drinking, drug use, who knows what else.
Maybe I gave them permission to be at this party, maybe not.
A young lady who was at this party is found dead in a ravine
not far from this party location.
Her body is discovered half-naked.
The medical examiner is ruling her death homicide.
Despite all of the rumors and lies...
The medical examiner is ruling her death homicide.
Once again...
The medical examiner is ruling her death homicide.
In other words, somebody killed her.
I have several options on the table. Would I:
a. Keep silent and hope things work out for my child?
b. Lie about my child’s whereabouts that night?
c. Do both a and b?
d. Try to get at the truth?
If I do the first three, do I really have my child’s best interests
in mind? What if my child had seen something horrible,
something potentially psychologically and spiritually
damaging?
What if my child had been threatened into keeping his or her
silence? What if my child were in danger?
Would I, could I just keep silent...and maybe even encourage
my child to keep silent too?
Unfortunately, silent nights aren't always holy nights.
One person was murdered already.
Whose interests do I really have in mind when I enable their
lies with my own?
Whose interests do I have in mind when I tell friends and
family members that I’m just glad my child was home by 11:00
p.m., when I know this isn’t anywhere near the truth?
Whose interests do I really have in mind when I keep silent?
I know I couldn’t just “let it go.”
That much is certain.
What about you?
I hope as these families get together over the holidays,
somebody at least ponders this group lie over 17 years old...
and somebody has the conscience to do the right thing.
Peace on earth is a wonderful thing, but it can't be a peace
predicated on lies...
That sort of peace never lasts.
m.c. merrill
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